Internal Family Systems (IFS)
Internal Family Systems has fundamentally shaped how I understand psychological suffering and change.
I was trained psychodynamically, which means I look beneath surface symptoms to understand the deeper origins of emotional pain and relational patterns. Often, this leads back to formative experiences within one’s family of origin. IFS builds on that depth by offering a clear and compassionate framework for working with what we find there.
Developed over the past four decades by Dr. Richard Schwartz, IFS is an evidence-based model that understands the psyche as a system of parts. Some parts carry wounds from earlier experiences, particularly from times when we were most vulnerable. Other parts develop protective strategies to help us cope — through perfectionism, emotional withdrawal, rage, overachievement, substance use, or other behaviors that can become extreme over time.
In IFS, no part is viewed as the enemy. Even the most frustrating or self-defeating behaviors are understood as protective attempts to manage pain.
In individual therapy, I help clients identify and understand these wounded and protective parts — not to eliminate them, but to help them unburden the roles they have been forced to carry. As these parts heal, clients often experience greater clarity, self-compassion, and internal steadiness. Instead of feeling driven by reactivity, they begin to feel more internally led.
IFS in Couples Work
In couples therapy, IFS offers a powerful way to understand recurring conflict.
Most relationship struggles are not simply about communication skills. They arise when protective parts in one partner react to protective parts in the other. What looks like criticism, withdrawal, or defensiveness is often an attempt to protect a more vulnerable part underneath.
I help couples slow down these cycles and become curious about the parts driving them. As each partner gains insight into their own internal system — and learns to recognize the vulnerability beneath their partner’s defenses — the dynamic shifts from opposition to collaboration.
Rather than positioning one partner as the problem, we work to help the couple relate to one another from a more grounded and compassionate place.